Time flies when we are having fun and the seasons are seamless, one rolling into the other. Today, Terence and I celebrate our 5th anniversary with so much to reminisce on and even much more to look forward to. We started off as friends when he was 15 and I was 16. Young and green. Sparks flew, friendship brewed and love grew. We took our time growing our friendship and living out our singlehood before we got together. We learned the value of friendship and did not just jump into a relationship with strings attached. We discovered ourselves first before discovering each other and to this day, I’m glad we took the slow road to love because we are first confident of our identity in Christ and who we are as individuals. The journey has been long in retrospect, especially when I delve into my stack of journals and revisit our wedding website – but it’s never been tiring or a drag.
When we tied the knot, we did not expect the first year to be so tumultuous. I had to re-learn a lot of things and realize that marriage is not making the other person just like me, but accepting and celebrating the differences between us. Just like a puzzle, you will never find two pieces in the exact shape that fit perfectly. It’s always got to be two pieces in different shapes. Similarly, if I had my way in the first year, our marriage would have been rather stale, boring and predictable and it would not have worked. Year 2 was more smooth sailing, but not without it’s fair share of life lessons. After 5 years together, I can safely say that I don’t know everything about Terence and I’m more than happy to keep that element of surprise for when I discover something new every now and then.
While it’s only been 5 years, compared to couples who have been married for 15, 20, 30 years, it has dawned on me that it’s easy to fall into a comfort zone once married, especially when everything is clockwork and routine. While it’s incredibly reassuring to run back to a safe place, there is always room for expansion and renovation. We consciously work at creating ‘healthy’ havoc in our lives. From planning ad hoc holidays, to random dinner dates, to challenging ourselves to do more for people and God’s kingdom, to working on new projects together. And these self-created havocs allow us to challenge, inspire and spur each other onto greater heights.
A year ago, when we celebrated our 4th anniversary, it was a trying time for us when we told that our first 8 week old lil bub didn’t make it. We pulled through and came out stronger. A year after that, a new season comes knocking on our door as we anticipate the arrival of our little baby boy! God in His matchless grace made ‘all things beautiful in His time’. Yes! This is yet another healthy ‘havoc’ we created and we can only anticipate more growth as individuals, a couple and a family.
As the journey continues to unravel, a Scrabble ensemble stuck to our fridge reminds me of the very things that we live for as a couple… things of eternal value.